Today saw the start of the biggest loser!!
If i dont get control of this, pretty soon i am also going to be that size!!
Body Trim seams to make sense.. It kinds ticks all the boxes with my 30 odd years of experience in trying to loose weight!!
I know that resistance training in the gym doesn't work!! Ive been working my guts out doing that and nothing!!! My weight loss actually stopped when i started to that in the first place when i was on Jenny Craig.
I cant keep spending all this money on frozen food with Jenny Craig when i dont have the money to feed the rest of the family.
Any weight you lose doing the milkshake type diets doesn't stay off. That blood test diet was the same, and Trim is kinda similar to that.......
I was fine with body trim until i read about Ketosis. Ive done a Ketosis program before and it worked, but then i put it back on again.
But I suppose Trim is kinda different. He is taking the time to educate people on eating correctly.
Honestly, this is it. Really, if this doesn't work i feel i am going to have to have like a stomach staple or something.... Theres no reason i should be the size i am. I move all the time, i am quite fit for the size of me. Doing the 4km run on the biggest loser tonight would not have been that big a deal for me. I jsut cant understand why my body stores to much that i eat.
After reading books and everything, i know that stress is a factor and i am under stress, quite a bit even though i tell myself im not.
Stu does put me under stress. He is quite demanding although he would tell you he isnt. He is very ubrupt and i do feel emotionally bullied quiet a bit and that puts me under stress. I suppose he doesnt recognise that he does it, but i know what it is and he does. Emelia feels its too. Emelis puts me under tremendous stress. All the time!! I know my headaches are from her. The constant worry that she is going to do something to stuff things up. And i know that she has used all my stores, there is nothing left. Im so worried that she will stuff up again and that will be it. I will have nothing left to support her through another bought of self loathing and the whole lack of self confidence thing... I know there isnt anything left anymore and one of us will have to go. I have warned Stu that there is nothing left. He says well she can do what she likes when she is 18. Yeh right and who is going to be the one to have to friggin pick up the pieces.. me!! But i wont be able to. I know now that i wont be able to. I dont want to destroy myself for a decision that i have nearly destroyed myself in the past to stop her from making. That might seam selfish, but its her choice. Not mine!! I've lived and learnt from my mistakes and no one was there for me. If thats what she decides than she can do it on her own. Im done with it.
So i do suppose i am under a bit of stress, and i really dont talk to anyone about this stuff. Stu is too worried about his own shit to worry about me.
It pisses me off so much that i carry all my stress on my arse!!! I mean i work so hard, and this is what i get. this friggin ugly fat arse friggin body that i loath when i look in the mirror!!
So Im over it!!
Im not going to constantly worry about this kid anymore and waste all this time that she doesn't appreciate. Im gonna spend some time and energy on me!
Im not going to constantly worry about this kid anymore and waste all this time that she doesn't appreciate. Im gonna spend some time and energy on me!
So tomorrow i start the Carb Detox.
I haven't told anyone what i am doing.
Im just going to document it here and see how i go.
I will write down how i feel, because with the changes in hormones that this eating plan will bring i am kind off worried it will trigger the same emotions that other protein diet did. My mind when loopy!!! I suppose that will be a good indication that it aint working for me hey.
But i so hope it does.
I pray to whoever, that it does.
I dont know what else to do about it.
Honestly the weight loss and fitness industry have already got their monies worth from me, please just let this one work!!!!!
