For the purpose of bearing all...

Here is the true damage:

Weight: 115.2kgs

Bust: 120cm

Waist: 106cm

Widest: 142cm (Yikes)

Thighs: 72cms

Arms 43cm

(Im kinda regretting making this blog public now.....)

But you gotta start somewhere!

Week 1 - Scrap Blog Challenge

I dont have a photo at the moment as i havnet loaded it from my phone.

But yesterday my weight was

111.2

Thats a .600 loss.

Now my week.

If i wanted to eat it i did....

I was very very busy, and hardly sat down.

Lots of climbing ladders and stars

and carrying heavy items

and very little sleep!

I spent the week setting up for the Deb ball

This was more or less single handely done by me!
Tables, chair covers, staging.....

Josh did the celing.

Setup, pulldown

and i am still washing and ironing....

Maybe next week i will have time to think about what i am doing with my weight loss 

and i will still have a loss!!
Fingers crossed!

Weight Loss Challenge# 100...... Not really, but it feels that way sometimes!

How ugly does this look......

My last post on this blog my weight was 101.2!!!!!

I cant believe it!

So here we go again.

Due to life's difficulties at the moment and the many things on my plate,

I am just going to concentrate on minor changes at this stage.

Im in no way ready to push things outside my comfort zone

as my stress levels are already at maximum

due to my brothers dreadful accident

and the Deb Ball I am conveynor for.

But i shall do my best....

So this is my start weight!

Here we go!!!

Here will be my inspiration

Friggin Over it!!!

Today saw the start of the biggest loser!!

If i dont get control of this, pretty soon i am also going to be that size!!

Body Trim seams to make sense.. It kinds ticks all the boxes with my 30 odd years of experience in trying to loose weight!!

I know that resistance training in the gym doesn't work!! Ive been working my guts out doing that and nothing!!! My weight loss actually stopped when i started to that in the first place when i was on Jenny Craig.

I cant keep spending all this money on frozen food with Jenny Craig when i dont have the money to feed the rest of the family.

Any weight you lose doing the milkshake type diets doesn't stay off. That blood test diet was the same, and Trim is kinda similar to that.......

I was fine with body trim until i read about Ketosis. Ive done a Ketosis program before and it worked, but then i put it back on again.

But I suppose Trim is kinda different. He is taking the time to educate people on eating correctly.

Honestly, this is it. Really, if this doesn't work i feel i am going to have to have like a stomach staple or something.... Theres no reason i should be the size i am. I move all the time, i am quite fit for the size of me. Doing the 4km run on the biggest loser tonight would not have been that big a deal for me. I jsut cant understand why my body stores to much that i eat.

After reading books and everything, i know that stress is a factor and i am under stress, quite a bit even though i tell myself im not.

Stu does put me under stress. He is quite demanding although he would tell you he isnt. He is very ubrupt and i do feel emotionally bullied quiet a bit and that puts me under stress. I suppose he doesnt recognise that he does it, but i know what it is and he does. Emelia feels its too. Emelis puts me under tremendous stress. All the time!! I know my headaches are from her. The constant worry that she is going to do something to stuff things up. And i know that she has used all my stores, there is nothing left. Im so worried that she will stuff up again and that will be it. I will have nothing left to support her through another bought of self loathing and the whole lack of self confidence thing... I know there isnt anything left anymore and one of us will have to go. I have warned Stu that there is nothing left. He says well she can do what she likes when she is 18. Yeh right and who is going to be the one to have to friggin pick up the pieces.. me!! But i wont be able to. I know now that i wont be able to. I dont want to destroy myself for a decision that i have nearly destroyed myself in the past to stop her from making. That might seam selfish, but its her choice. Not mine!! I've lived and learnt from my mistakes and no one was there for me. If thats what she decides than she can do it on her own. Im done with it.

So i do suppose i am under a bit of stress, and i really dont talk to anyone about this stuff. Stu is too worried about his own shit to worry about me.

It pisses me off so much that i carry all my stress on my arse!!! I mean i work so hard, and this is what i get. this friggin ugly fat arse friggin body that i loath when i look in the mirror!!

So Im over it!!
Im not going to constantly worry about this kid anymore and waste all this time that she doesn't appreciate. Im gonna spend some time and energy on me!

So tomorrow i start the Carb Detox.

I haven't told anyone what i am doing.

Im just going to document it here and see how i go.

I will write down how i feel, because with the changes in hormones that this eating plan will bring i am kind off worried it will trigger the same emotions that other protein diet did. My mind when loopy!!! I suppose that will be a good indication that it aint working for me hey.

But i so hope it does.

I pray to whoever, that it does.

I dont know what else to do about it.

Honestly the weight loss and fitness industry have already got their monies worth from me, please just let this one work!!!!!

Just growing and growing!!!

Its just not happening!!! Its so frustrating, but today i listened to some stuff that really did start to make sense and to be honest - between you and me, im kinda excited about it for the first time in a long time!!!

I reluctantly bought "Body Trim" weight loss secret... Yeh yeh...

But listening to Jeff, it really make sense because i have experienced first hand alot of the things he talks about, and also over time have had accidental success from some of the things he mentioned!!

So on Monday the 1st February, Im gonna give this ago.

They reacon you can loose a stone in the first week!! WOuldnt that be friggin brilliant even if it is all water!! I gotta get rid of that too!!!

So on Monday, I shall start again, for the how manyith friggin time!!!

Im so over being fat! I just want it gone!!

Joining the 12 Week Fatlossathon Program

Ok, these are the disgusting before photos....